Ironically, it was Joe who told me not long ago I should start blogging again. If anyone ever read this thing, I expect you've long stopped checking for updates, so I might as well get it all out here.
Once Upon A Time, not too long ago, I fell in love with my best friend. In the beginning, it was everything I'd ever wanted (and given up on so long ago). I skipped through the days leaving unicorns and rainbows and sunflowers in my wake. I smiled until my cheeks hurt. I won the boy lottery. I was beautiful and sexy and cherished and loved.
Then a Thing happened. Something dark and slithering wormed it's way into my fairy tale, as they are wont to do, as written in the old days. It was a scary, serious, uncertain time. It brought us even closer. For a time, we were like two astronauts, tethered together, the two of us alone, looking down on the world.
Then he started to drift. And the days were no longer sweet, but an aftertaste, fading ever so slowly. There were more fights. There was more time spent together but apart. The roller coaster began to rock and pick up speed. It wasn't of his own volition, really. The dark and slithering thing was still there.
He never looked so surprised as the day I told him sometimes I didn't even think he liked me.
We got off the roller coaster. We got back on. It rattled on loose hinges, going dangerously faster, until last Thursday, when it finally flew off the tracks and exploded in spectacular cinematic fashion.
By now, I have conquered all the peaks of pathetic. I have cried as he took his things. I have gotten emo all over facebook. I have written him a letter, throwing myself at his mercy. He wants nothing to do with me. I have behaved like a kicked puppy.
I'm passing into the next phase now. Whatever you call it, bleak and empty, like a desert - nothing happening, nothing to look at, but sure as shit ain't nothing can sneak up on me. I haven't slept in days.
I consulted my Voice of Reason. He gave me two pieces of advice. One - endure. Two - install a hipster alarm, because they seem to be no good for me.
I am enduring. I am treading water.
I miss my best friend.